Hey hey… I know, I know it’s been awhile.

Life has been life-ing over here y’all in the best and hardest of ways, and honestly, the past couple of months have felt like a complete whirlwind. But I’m back, and I’ve got a lot to catch you up on so be ready for extra. All the TMI’s and all the tea served piping HOT! Hahaha, seriously not sure it’s that hot but you’re getting all the goods for sure. Hold on to your seatbelts ladies and gents…… you’ve arrived at the 💩 show.

Big Moments for Our Girl

Let’s start with the big stuff our teeny girl is officially not so teeny anymore.

She turned 18.
She got her driver’s license (yes, we survived that milestone).
And we celebrated her in full Karissa style.

We leaned all the way into her childhood favorites with Monster High decorations (her pick of course, and I loved every second of it), sent her and her friends to Topgolf for a fun adventure, and gave her as a gift tickets to her favorite Houston Rodeo show which also happened to be her first late-night event out with friends. Cue all the emotions because it was A LOT.

She also showed her lamb Shadrach at the Houston Rodeo. He didn’t place, but truly they both did an amazing job, and we couldn’t be more proud of how well she showed him. It was her best show to date.

Then to help lighten her load going into her final county show, we passed along the other two (young) goats and the other sheep to some of her camp counselor friends leaving us with Judas, Peter, and Abednego (who we lovingly refer to as Bitty). It wasn’t easy, but it was the right move for her and for us.

Family, Life & Full Plates

My dad has now come to stay with us for a little bit while he regains his strength after some minor health issues. It’s been a blessing to have him here though, even if it adds a little more to our already pretty full plates. But anything for family of course.

And as for the Him? Well as always, he’s just been working and staying busy. A reminder though that we’re beyond grateful for that to be possible.

As for me… you’ve probably noticed I haven’t been here much. And there’s a reason for that…..

My Mental Health Journey (The Real Reason I’ve Been Quiet)

Since about mid-last year, I’ve been on a real mental health journey.

I started struggling more in the fall especially with anxiety and panic attacks. Not just the occasional ones, but the kind that make you start fearing the feeling itself. If you know, you know.

And I don’t care who you are or how strong you think you are anxiety has a way of humbling you.

For me, it turned into this cycle:

• Panic → fear of panic → more panic
• And suddenly, I didn’t feel as strong as I thought I was

So I did the work.

I started digging deeper with my therapist, asking myself:

• Why do I feel unsafe?
• Why don’t I trust myself to get through it?

And the biggest thing I learned?

👉 You have to believe you can handle anything even in the middle of full blown panic.

At first, I didn’t believe that. And actually thought it may be silly. Not even a little.

But over time… I started to believe.

Because the truth is: I had already felt the worst of it.
And yet I survived every single time without actually needing help.

The Turning Point

There was a moment where I was just… tired.

Tired of being scared.
Tired of fighting the feeling.
Tired of letting anxiety run the show.

And something shifted.

Instead of running from it, I started thinking:

“Okay… if it comes, it comes. I’ll ride the wave and then I’ll be to come back up.”

And that changed everything.

Was it still uncomfortable? Absolutely.
Did it still suck? 100%.

But it wasn’t controlling me.

Faith, Gratitude & Getting My Power Back

If I’m being completely honest my faith is what carried me through.

Not in a perfect, church-every-Sunday kind of way… but in a real, raw, personal relationship with God.

I leaned into:

• Prayer when I was worried or scared
• Gratitude journaling multiple times a day along with feeling journaling
• Reminding myself of everything I still love about my life and doing more of the things I love.

And slowly… I am finding myself again.

I realized:

👉 My safety isn’t in other people
👉 My peace isn’t in circumstances
👉 It’s in me and in my faith

And that? That is freeing! At least to me I’ve found it to be.

Where I’m At Now

Today, I can say this:

✨ I’m doing really good
✨ I’m trying things I haven’t done in years
✨ I’m not letting anxiety make decisions for me anymore

I’ve also dropped about 45 pounds which started from cutting out gluten due to some sensitivity issues. Whether it’s inflammation or actual weight loss, I’m not totally sure but I know I feel better.

And here’s something important I’ve realized:

👉 When you look in the mirror, you don’t always see what others see.

I still see the same girl I’ve always been.

Not defined by weight.
Not defined by struggle.

But defined by:

• Kindness
• Strength
• Loyalty
• Growth

And that’s what matters.

If You’re Struggling… This Is For You

If you’re in a place right now where:

• Anxiety feels overwhelming
• You don’t feel like yourself
• You’re questioning your strength

I want you to know this:

👉 I see you. I hear you. I’ve been there.

And you will get through it.

Not overnight.
Not perfectly.
But you will one way or another if you truly believe it.

Start somewhere small but that counts. Something like this:

• Be grateful for something
• Remind yourself who you are
• And trust that you’re stronger than the feeling

Because you are.

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What’s Next

I’m really excited to be back here.

I’ve got so many ideas for this space things I want to share, try, and build with y’all. This blog has always been a place for real life, and I want to lean into that even more.

So if you’ve stuck around thank you.
If you’re new here, Welcome!

And if you’re walking through something hard right now…
just know you’re not walking alone.

Until next time,
Karissa       

– Just me, him & the dogs 🐾✨